We’ve all been there. You hook up with a random guy all your friends think is an asshole. But you don’t think he’s asshole, you think he’s the best thing since the Versace for H&M collection. You can’t stop thinking how sexy he is and how impressed your family is going to be with his resume at Thanksgiving dinner.

This strange and bewildering phenomenon is now explained by science!

A new study “Show Versus Tell? The Effects of Mating Context on Women’s Memory for a Man’s Physical Features and Verbal Statements” in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found when women look for a short-term partner to casually date and hook up with, they remember his physical features but not a single thing he said.

Sounds familiar? Keep reading!

125 female participants, all undergraduate students, were given a fictional scenario by researchers, where they were encouraged to determine whether they wanted a man as a short-term partner or a long-term partner. The women were then given a surprise memory test to see if they remembered a man’s appearance and what he said.

The test asked the women to describe the man’s eyes, nose, eyebrows, shoulders, facial and body hair and body build as well as university, major and minor in school, community, favorite foods, feelings about competition, workout habits, scholarship, mother’s and father’s occupations and family history of heart disease.

That’s a lot of information, but you know women store info better than Google!

All the women wanted a man who was attractive and interesting. Shocker!

Those who wanted Mr. Right Now remembered what the man looked like more than what he said and those who wanted a forever bae to bring home for the holidays remembered what he actually came of his mouth more so than bulge-size.

But why does this happen?

The smart scientists explain:

“When selecting a long-term partner, women prioritize cues to a man’s status and ambition more so than his physical attractiveness. In a short-term mating context, women’s preferences change somewhat toward the physical features of men, as they become particularly interested in men with attractive faces and bodies.”

Basically, it’s all about desire, and what we’re looking for at certain point in our lives.

If you don’t see a future with someone, then you really won’t care about their personal goals, interests or where his parents live.

If you want someone in your life for the long-haul, you look beyond the physical and take into account what he’s really about.

Maybe if we could manage somehow to apply the later method to our dating life, we could all avoid assholes.

Here’s hoping!

Brittney Fennell

Brittney Fennell

Brittney is a NYC journalist who has goals to disrupt culture in ways unseen.