First dates can be awkward as hell. Some moments feel like a job interview instead of fun social activity designed to find your life partner or Mr. Right Now. We all know in the end though, we mercilessly judge men by what they do and don’t say.

Researchers from Stanford and the University of California may just be able to save fellas out there with their super fabulous science.

A survey was conducted by recording free speed-dating events for heterosexual grad students. After students reported how well they “clicked” with their partners in about 1,000 four-minute conversations, researchers concluded what’s cool to say on a first date and what’s not so hot.

In news that may not shock you, results show physical and character traits like a man’s height and shared hobbies had a larger influence on whether couples clicked than what they actually said to each other. But this became less important compared to the flow of the conversation.

Here are some pointers for men, courtesy of the nerds at Stanford (catch that irony?):

Do mimic a woman’s laughter by laughing when she laughs.

Do interrupt to ask more questions. Women reported feeling a connection when men interrupted them to show they actually care about what’s coming out of her mouth instead of how fat her ass is.

Do say as many flattering things as possible and use the word “you” a lot because first dates are about women. Duh!

Wondering how it’s working out for you? Listen to a woman’s volume during her speech. If she begins to speak in higher pitches or more softly, you’re winning, dude! Also listen to see if she uses “I” a lot more.

But remember guys, just because a woman is asking questions, it doesn’t mean she’s into you. If she’s using words like “maybe,” “kinda” and “probably,” and doing all the talking, this date won’t work out for you. And you can definitely expect not to come up to her place for a night cap!

Ultimately, results show there’s an uneven relationship between women and men and whether a first date becomes a second, third and entire season is entirely all up to women. Because we really do run shit.

Brittney Fennell

Brittney Fennell

Brittney is a NYC journalist who has goals to disrupt culture in ways unseen.

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