You may know her as Superhead, for obvious and extremely misogynist reasons. But surprisingly for some, Steffans has spent more of her time authoring best selling books than making a career out of being rapper arm candy.
The 36 year-old Florida-native (by way of the Virgin Islands) came to notoriety when she wrote the explosive Confessions of a Video Vixen, detailing her erotic affairs with entertainment giants like Jay-Z, Bobbi Brown, Vin Diesel, Usher, Puffy, Method Man, Ray J and more.
The year was 2005, and if Black Twitter were around then, let’s just say Twitter’s server would have crashed.
Steffans broke radio, Oprah’s couch, and every single amen corner.
Arguably the most notorious hip-hop provocateur, she’s wrote over six books, her latest effort Vindicated: Confessions of a Video Vixen, Ten Years Later is available now.
The former video dancer recently gave a striking interview with Jezebel casually chatting her filter-free thoughts on Kardashian, Rose, if a woman can ever really shake the ‘ho’ label and quotable, boss shit like: Men are never happy. They want a woman who is good at sex but don’t want you to practice.
The former video dancer has never been a fan of the double standards placed on women and especially gags at labels when it comes to sex.
“I don’t like the idea that women are always labeled and men aren’t,” said Steffans.
“The thing about sex is that when I’m having it with a man, he’s also having sex with me at the exact same time! When we get up, I’m the ho and he’s the man so I don’t subscribe to society’s labels. I define who I am.”
*spoken word night snaps*
Indeed, Steffans has been labeled everything under the sun. Currently, the world is repeating itself and those same labels are being used to categorize Kardashian and Rose who, if you let most people tell it, came to fame because of the men they’re associated with.
Steffans shared her thoughts on Kardashian’s recent speaking tour to promote her new book Selfish.
“I don’t know if Kim Kardashian is super fucking smart—bitch might be an Einstein. But I know that she has something to sell and if what she’s selling is her ass and her husband is cool with that and her daughter thinks that’s awesome, then I can’t say anything.”
The popular author continues, “But if you want to tell me that picture of your ass really is about the hardships in America, then I may look at you a little weird because that was not your intent when you took that photo.”
Steffans also laments Kardashian wanted to show her vagina off, perhaps as a way to reclaim her sexuality after giving birth.
“I don’t know what happened with Kim in the last year where she felt we wanted to see her vagina all the time. For some women, having a baby makes them feel fat and ugly. Maybe having North West changed her and this is her way of reclaiming her sexiness and saying ‘I’m gorgeous again.’ Maybe her identity is so wrapped up in her body that she doesn’t know how to be sexy without it. Women are taught different languages at different ages. Maybe she was taught, because she was beautiful growing up, that her beauty is her identity.”
As for her thoughts on Rose, Steffans thinks she’s in a word: amazing.
“I don’t think she’s actually discovered who she really is yet or the power she has. A lot of women find power in their bodies and, like my grandmother says, flesh is for the worms. Take more pride in your intellectual side because your body will eventually sag and drag. Maybe Kim is doing that now? I’m not sure.”
Steffans might have one of the most infamous nicknames in hip-hop, but she doesn’t let what she calls an “offensive” label define her.
“I don’t live in hip-hop culture, I live in Hollywood and it’s completely different. Hip-Hop is a subculture and what subcultures say don’t count.”
“If they mattered, Steffans goes on. “They would’ve been able to stop me a long time ago and they can’t, that’s not what I’m most widely known as. When I walk into an office building in L.A., do deals and get shit done, no one speaks like that to me. [Hip-Hop] is also a subculture that is suffering in a lot of different ways. They’re suffering intellectually, socially, inter-personally, especially between men and women. It’s a completely degrading culture.”
Steffans feels this generation hasn’t had a sexual revolution and desperately needs a Gloria Steinem.
“I cannot believe I’m in 2015 and we’re still having this conversation, “What do you think about a woman having sex with whoever she wants?” Are you nuts? It’s so regressive I’m almost embarrassed to live here. We’re still having conversations people had in the ‘50s! But I’m happy to be a voice in that conversation, I’m happy to say that I can date and have sex with who I want and do my sexual due diligence to know what I want.”
And when it comes to Steffans’ sex-positive take on penis and divorce, don’t front on yourself and grab a stickie note.
“The more I know what kind of sex I want, the more I can say to a man ‘You’re not good enough for me,’ which is what happened with one of my husbands,” Steffans shares.
“We didn’t have sex until after we were married. When we did, I said ‘Oh, this penis isn’t big enough for me. Your sex is wack, your penis is tiny and I know this because I’ve done my due diligence. Now we have to get a divorce because, sorry I was trying to do it the right way but no, this is not going to work!’ I’ve had sex before and I can judge a penis.”
Steffans is currently married to her third husband and raising two children. She considers herself a homebody.