There was a time in my life when I was profoundly embarrassed I was using dating sites like OKCupid and apps like SoulSwipe to meet potential dates at such a young age.

When I signed up for DateMySchool, a college based dating site at 19, I accepted it apparently signified I was officially a loser.

I had always believed only people who are so desperate to find a date have to resort to using a dating site. But I was surprised to find out during my time in college, at least half of my friends were using a dating app or site.

Dating online now is not the taboo it was about six or seven years ago. We don’t whisper about how Jenny is so desperate she signed up for Black People Meet, and the days of AOL chat rooms for singles are long gone.

Instead, a whole new generation of millennials rely heavily on dating apps and websites to find “love”, or at least the next hook up.

It’s fitting of this generation, we’re all about immediacy and what’s more immediate than a ping on your phone accompanied by photos of cute guys who might be into you.

READ: New Invite-Only Dating App Promises No Fakes or Randoms

There are some who complain right swipe love apps like Tinder and Soul Swipe have supported contributes to an overall problem of potential lovers not interacting with each other, but dating apps have another potentially detrimental effect.

Dating apps are developing a generation who doesn’t really know how to say relationship, let alone maneuver or successfully cultivate one.

The rise of the “situationship” is slowly killing the permanency of relationships and our dating culture is very much to blame.

We’ve swapped out dating for hookup culture. Plain and simple, no one really dates anymore.

We hang out, we “Netflix and chill”, we go out for drinks, but classifying anything as a date is like a one in a million chance and having a boyfriend who you can officially call your boyfriend is something like one in a trillion!

Who wants to be monogamous and committed when you could leave one person and find your next bae all within the hour? That’s what dating sites and apps do; they allow us to focus on the next and not the now. Dating becomes so accessible, it loset it’s significance.

Not to mention, the idea of liking someone based off a photo and 150 words really speaks to just how shallow dating has become.

The mask of the internet allows anyone to highlight the good with a nice photo and leave out all the rest. It’s rare  we work to learn more about a person past what’s written underneath their picture.

READ: Black Dating Apps: The Good And The Bad! 

Online dating and dating apps are convenient, especially for the girl on the go who wants to have faith in finding love; but the culture we’ve adopted as a result of these apps is absolutely killing the notion of love, especially for women.

Men love options and it’s easy to trap women in a hookup we hope will turn into more, when men know there’s always another girl waiting behind their lock screen.

What do you think about dating apps? Is real dating over? Sound off!

Ariel Leconte

Ariel Leconte

Ariel is the Associate Editor of Jawbreaker and creator of Revolutionary In Pink Pumps blog. She is equally obsessed with social justice, lipstick, culture, and red wine.