DatingSex

Are ‘Dad Bods’ a Double Standard?

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Life’s too short to waste on ugly people. Okay, ugly’s a strong word. Unattractive? Does that work? You know…people that aren’t hot…guys with dad bods. 

And for this reason, I make this humble request. Ladies, please stop dating guys that you’re not 100% attracted to. Like “Pow!!! Instant chemistry! Get naked NOW!!!” type of chemistry.

Obvi, this is never an issue for guys. They’re extra visual, so the idea of dating someone that’s unattractive makes about as much sense as Young Thug’s song lyrics. But us ladies? Well, we’ve somehow been programmed to make allowances in the physical arena in order to achieve happiness in relationships.

It’s why you see beautiful women with non-beautiful guys ALL the time. (Hello, Beyonce & Jay-Z). It’s why #dadbods have become a thing.

We’ll give someone we otherwise wouldn’t a chance because he is rich, has a nice smile, overlooking a man hips situation in favor of getting to know the person he is inside. Or we’ll green light a second date because the guy’s powerful or charismatic, even if he has a face only a mother could love.

But you know what? Ef that!

Life’s too short to waste on ugly people.

I’ll admit that I’ve made allowances in the past. Because truth be told, getting caught up in that…”Pow!!! Instant chemistry! Get naked NOW!!!” type of chemistry can be kinda overwhelming. It affects your judgment and decision making, often in ways that are somewhat detrimental. It’s how you end up dating an off-season international basketball player who’s squatting in your building or taking a $30 cab ride to Queens at 5 a.m. for “breakfast” doing stupid shit.

But when you think about it. It’s worth it.

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Because let’s say, for example, that you date the non-hot guy. It’ll be all fine and dandy…until you break up (and chances are you will break up. No pessimism here. It’s just what happens—most relationships end up that way). For the rest of your life, you’ll find yourself justifying why you dated him to yourself and others. Every picture you ever show of you and your ex-flame will be accompanied by a qualifier. You’ll hear yourself saying, unconvincingly, “He was so GOOD to me” and “He was really THERE for me.”

God forbid he dump YOU! Now YOU have to explain how in the world you, in all your fly girl awesomeness, got dumped by this ugly guy!

Then comes the day that you’ll come across a few old photos of the two of you together—the trials and tribulations of your relationship will be a distant, distant memory, but so will those little nice things that made you like his ugly ass in the first place. You won’t remember his super cute ability to quote an appropriate Jay-Z lyric for every mundane situation in life, or the way he would finish your sentences. No. None of that. You’ll just look at those pictures and see them for what they are…what you’re friends saw all along…

That ol’ dude with the #dadbod was ugly AF!

And it will make you sad.

Who wants that?

So why not date guys that are hot? The ones who give you that “Pow!!! Instant chemistry! Get naked NOW!!!” feeling. It’s more fun that way. Because that relationship will never, ever need explaining—not on paper anyway. When you reminisce over that failed relationship via Timehop flashbacks, those pictures will take you to that special place that only “Pow!!! Instant chemistry! Get naked NOW!!!” can take you. And as we all know, that is a very, very good place.

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Shayla Byrd

Shayla Byrd

Shayla Byrd is a real southern belle and the Senior Editor of Jawbreaker. Her grandmother used to call her sassy when she was a kid. That pretty much hasn't changed.