While this may be a no-brainer for most of us, there’s always an exception to the rule.
On the latest installment of Bravo’s “Untying the Knot”, Memphitz (government name Mickey Wright) and Toya Wright appeared to try and resolve some of their marriage woes.
If you remember, the couple married back in 2011 in a lavish ceremony covered on BET on Toya’s then reality show “Toya: A Family Affair”.
Fast-forward to 2015, the couple separated and are trying to divide their assets of which include a diamond ring and a watch collection.
In the midst of dividing their stuff, Memphitz reveals he never cheated on his wife, at least not without a hall pass.
What is a “hall pass”?
He went on to explain Toya gave him eight days a year to do whatever he wanted “no questions asked.” It gets better! When Memphitz was asked if his wife could do the same, he replied “Hell no! She’s a woman!”
Patriarchal double standards on fleek! Toya, girl you’re a good one!
Now, we understand couples have various relationship set-ups and we get that. Our issue is the hall pass is not mutual. It’s an one-sided hall pass allowing your man to run a muck for about eight days.
So what do you do? Sit at home and twiddle your thumbs upon his return?
Unfortunately, whatever freedom she was attempting to give her man had an adverse effect and it’s seemingly why they’re divorcing.
But that doesn’t mean some couples haven’t mastered the art of the hall pass or open relationship.
Some of Hollywood’s most lasting couples are said to have participated in “hall pass” behavior including the legendary Osie Davis and Ruby Dee and long-time Hollywood it couple Will Smith and Jada Pinket Smith.
We’re advocates of whatever type of relationship you’d like to have as long as it is equally beneficial to both parties. This is gender equality at it’s best. She gets to participate in the hall pass, too.
The idea that both people are benefiting from the hall pass is a more fair and balanced approach. If the concept is he can go out and do what he pleases for eight days, then the hall pass should extend to the woman and she should be permitted to do the same.
While the rules to hall pass behavior should be worked out between individual couples, it’s not impossible to explore the idea without your relationship going completely south. We suggest a thorough discussion that includes boundaries, deal breakers, and equal gratification for both people involved.
Good luck hall passing!