RelationshipsSex

7 Things I Learned Dating Guys Like Drake

I date Drakes.

Not actual Drake, the rapper. Duh. I’m talking about the stereotype—the guy who publicly laments over the big booty girls who broke his heart and makes hater calls from “Marvin’s Room.” The Drakes of the world come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they’re especially emo. Sometimes they’re emotionally unavailable. Some of them are immature. Some are way, waaaay too deep. You generally come across Drakes when you date nerds; reformed nerds who developed a sense of style and a cool personality later in life, once their nerdy passions transformed into prosperous careers or fulfilling hobbies. These guys though…they feel the feelings unlike any other type of dude–and if you’re not prepared, it’s easy to get lost in a whirlwind of “WTF?”

Here’s a few things you need to know before you date a Drake. I learned these things the hard way so you don’t have to. Thank me later.

1. He’s nice. He’s just nice. Don’t let that fool you into thinking he likes you more than he does. Somebody just raised him well. He’ll open your door, maybe even hold your hand. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll cuddle with you—and like it; but don’t be deceived. That doesn’t mean you’re his boo, or on your way to being wifey. It just means you’re dating a guy with manners. Since these guys are becoming more and more rare by the minute and any gal with dating experience has been exposed to her fair share of jerks, it’s easy to misinterpret this kind of treatment. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that it’s deeper than it is. All of the usual rules of dating still apply.

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2. You’ll rarely be able to ask your male friends for advice about him. Drakes are unusual– that’s what makes them special. They’re not like most guys you date and more than likely, they aren’t going to be like the guys you’ve befriended and dated/friend-zoned in the past. So when you feel the need to run your new boo’s puzzling behavior by your brain trust of male homies for clarity, the advice you get will probably be inaccurate. They’ll call him soft and tell you to dump him and move on. This advice, obviously, is not helpful. Do yourself a favor—skip that step and move on to #3.

3. Just because he has ALL the feelings, doesn’t mean he knows how to express them. Get ready for some heavy detective work. Each guy is different, naturally, but dating an emo dude can be like trying to put together a 5 bajillion piece puzzle—and all of the pieces aren’t even in the box. If you’re compatible, you’ll figure out his quirks sooner rather than later and maybe even find them charming.

4. You’re going to see him cry a lot more than you’re used to. If he’s not the crying type, get ready for his emotions to manifest themselves in some weird way. I handed a guy tissues at work once because he didn’t want people to see him crying if he left his desk. My heart went out to him, but it was still mad weird. If he’s an icebox and doesn’t cry because someone in his past told him something wack like, “real men don’t cry,” he’ll do something equally as annoying/hurtful/perplexing—like disappear into a black hole for four days without calling, while he deals with his inner turmoil and tortured soul. Don’t fret. It’s not you. It’s him. Let him work it out. If he likes you, he’ll come back around and explain himself.

5. His art will come first and if you’re lucky (or unlucky) you might even see yourself in it. Drakes usually have some sort of artistic expression percolating in their lives. They might not make a living at it the way the actual Drake does, but it will be there. So whether he creates life-size murals, records mix-tapes in his closet after work or tells jokes on Friday nights in the basement of that one restaurant in Queens, his art will usually take precedent over you, then sooner or later, it may even be about you—whether you know it or not.

6. Every now and then, he’ll try to overcompensate to prove his masculinity. He’ll likely do this in really dumb ways. Especially if he’s younger and still immature. Let him rock. He needs it. Don’t try to understand it. Just go with it.

7. They make good boyfriends. Provided he’s done sowing his royal oats and is really, actually into you, Drakes are generally pretty sweet and loyal boyfriends. They’re silly and fun. You can relate to them and talk to them a bit easier than most. They’re better listeners and easier to connect with emotionally once you figure them out. They pay attention to things you do. It’s flattering to be the object of a Drakes affection. (It’s probably also flattering to be the object of the actual Drake’s affection, but I digress). There’s something to be said about a guy who’s in touch with his proverbial ‘feminine side’ plus who’s expressive and creative. You’ll like it, I promise. Good luck. God speed. Take care.

Shayla Byrd

Shayla Byrd

Shayla Byrd is a real southern belle and the Senior Editor of Jawbreaker. Her grandmother used to call her sassy when she was a kid. That pretty much hasn't changed.