Last week I ordered some products from a popular fitness company called Beach Body. My package included “shakoelogy”, an exercise DVD and a bunch of tension fitness bands to help me workout at home.
I was rushing out of town when the package got to my house. So admittedly, I left everything sprawled out on the kitchen counter. When I got home my boyfriend had some questions about my package.
“Ummm..I have a question,” he said. “I walked in the kitchen and saw all this stuff on the counter. What are all those tubes? I read the packaging and it said beach body… but since you don’t have a beach body, I’m wondering what all this stuff is for?”
“Wait! What? Rewind? I don’t have a what?” I responded in pure shock.
He repeated it, “You don’t have a beach body,” this time with a laugh.
“What do you mean by that,” I asked.
He goes, “I mean, you’re plus size.”
“So now I’m pissed but also questioning myself. Have I gained weight? Maybe he’s not even really into me. Maybe he was never into me. What are we even doing here?”
I love my plus sisters but they let me know on the regular I haven’t made the plus cut. I am a girl with curves but I just technically don’t fit into plus size clothing. I’m a size 10 usually and an eight on a snatched day. Nevertheless, how dare he imply a woman who is plus size or curvy doesn’t have a beach body. I was shocked.
Who the hell was I dating?
Here is the guy that probably sees me naked more than any other person was body-shaming me. I couldn’t believe it, because trust me, all my fat is in all the right places, honey. I love my body and I thought he did too. I’m exactly the same size I was when we met.
So now I’m pissed but also questioning myself. Have I gained weight? Maybe he’s not even really into me. Maybe he was never into me. What are we even doing here?
After a minute he saw how much his comment hurt my feelings. It was just a mean thing to say. He tries to make it better by saying. “I mean you’re like a plus size model….Well if it helps I am too, he laughs by himself. The whole thing just wasn’t funny at all.
So now I’m thinking about everything. I’m thinking about his comment, the shady 4:30 am phone call he had the other day, him coming home at 4:00am on his day off, the week before, that day he didn’t answer his phone all day because he was “asleep.”
Well needless to say, it was curtains for this young man. And now I’m currently seeking new applications.
To quote Carrie Bradshaw: we are so over we need a new word for over.
But what really is a beach body?
My answer is: It’s the body that shows up to the beach
Sure just like anyone else, I like to be a little extra snatched when I hit the beach. I may forgo carbs the day prior but that doesn’t mean I don’t think I have a beach body. I mean clearly this guy has never seen my booty in a swimsuit. It is something to behold. And he never will.
I learned a few lessons here courtesy of the ex-boyfriend, Beyonce and Birdman:
Be careful of who you surround yourself with. If your friends, man, family, whoever, cannot get in formation around the idea of loving and supporting you, in the words of Bey: eliminate them. The wrong people with the wrong perspective will have you questioning everything right about you. My body is fashioned by God, and trust He made no mistakes. My body is part of who I am— my essence, my light. Put some respect on it!!
2. Put some respect on my name.
Boyfriends and friends beware. Be careful of the things you say. The wrong words break a person down just like the right words build them up. If you love someone build them up, encourage them.
3. Sorry… I ain’t Sorry.
Never apologize for your body or who you are. I love who I am and I love my body and I can’t let anyone breakdown the pride I feel from just knowing I was designed by God.
4. Daddy Lessons
My daddy told me long ago what I have is better than a pot of gold—don’t just go giving it to anyone. We have to be so careful of those we let in to our intimate spaces… and of the people we just plain let in. Everyone isn’t worthy of our bodies.
5. Don’t Hurt Yourself.
The boyfriend later revealed to me he only made the comment because he was upset with me about something else. Well to that I can only say when you hurt me you hurt yourself. Don’t hurt yourself and now you can watch my fat ass twist, boy as I bounce to the next d*** boy. Deuces!
This article was originally published on Huffington Post. Follow RaVal Davis on Instagram and SnapChat.