Ladies if you haven’t been too wrapped up in the new season of “Empire”, then you know football season is back in full swing! I know, serious eye roll because this now means your boo will be ghost for the rest of winter.
Before you begin lamenting about how come he can remember all of the plays of each game and not your birthday or wishing he loved golf instead, listen up! I’m here to help you survive football season and keep you and your man satisfied!
Football season is a beast that will never be tamed so you need to get with the program and work with the animal, not against it. Pull out your Lisa Frank notebook and put your listening cap on!
1. Know his favorite teams!
This is something you should already know but if you’ve just refused to listen when he talks sports, search his closet, the jerseys will show you the light. Knowing which team/city he roots for will help in those moments when you happen to join him for 10 minutes. If you out of nowhere start cheering when his QB breaks through the defensive line to score a touchdown, he will be impressed. He will not only look at you like a new woman but will feel like you are actually listening to him when he talks about things that are of no interest to you. Aww, you care!
How to Keep Your Man During Football Season! - Jawbreaker
2. STFU while there’s a play!
Why?? Because he’s focused on yardage and not trying to give you a lesson in pass interference! Just be quiet until the commercials. If he happens to explain something to you and use a term you don’t understand, it will lead to more questions and may cause him to miss the most important play of the game.
3. Don’t be an attention whore!
Good Lord! The man adores you six days out of the week and guess what just like God he needs a day of rest! Don’t take his one word answers to mean the love is lost. I mean, you don’t see him throwing a fit when you’re in the middle of a read on “Love and Hip Hop”, do you? Just like he would see you watching “Bird TV” and exit stage left, do your man a solid and return the favor.
How to Keep Your Man During Football Season! - Jawbreaker
4. Sex will get you nowhere!
Look unless you’re a real pro (like me) tone down the baby talk and neck kissing. This basically ties into what I said above. He won’t think its cute and no, he won’t chose the game over you so either chill or go watch something on YouPorn!
5. Be a good hostess. This will get you everywhere later!
Relationships are about give and take and doing things you don’t necessarily love to do sometimes. Get some bags of chips, salsa and a great guacamole recipe online and serve up snacks. If you know the fellas are coming over or your place is football Sunday central, keep beer and even some wings (the frozen kind counts here too) and leave them out then disappear. Not only did you feed them, it was easy!
6. Even when his team doesn’t play, they play!
Don’t think that because his team isn’t playing on a particular Sunday, you can make plans for the two of you to sight see all day long. Guess what, a team he’s mildly interested in is probably playing or his rival team has a game that day and he needs to see them loose. You will set yourself up if you try this and will be met with groans and mild complaints. If you must venture out during game time, for the love of all things, please let there be a TV at the place you’re going to or a strong internet connection so he can watch on his phone.
How to Keep Your Man During Football Season! - Jawbreaker
Now for the Big Test!
7. The Crown Jewel – The Super Bowl! 
Girl you made it!  This is what you have been preparing for all season long. This is the holy grail of games and the stakes are going to be super high. You have survived hours of yelling, high emotions and “I can’t even right now” moments from your man. Now you’re in the home stretch!
Remember all of your training from the past months, ladies!
You hosting the Super Bowl?
Be a great teammate and help with everything. You can’t cook? Order from Buffalo Wild Wings.
You going to a party with your boo?
Act interested in meeting the other people and fix him a plate when it’s time to eat.
Your team is actually winning this game?
Don’t be overly obnoxious. Match your petty to the other guests!
The last item on the list of holy grail is: So you wanna get it in during halftime or nah?!
You at your own house?
Hit your bedroom during the second quarter. It’s the safest time for both of the co-hosts to go missing for about eight minutes.
Avoid the bathroom! Chances are at any given second someone has to use it.
Okay, sis, now go forth this season! Hope you survive and just think in a few months football will be done, just in time for March Madness!

Brianna Seagraves

Brianna Seagraves

Brianna is native of Maryland and a tall girl making everything glitter with scripts and witty commentary.​ You're welcome.​

  • Ashley

    Brianna, what’s your man’s favorite team?