An anonymous sex worker details her shocking experiences with a range of kinky clients in a diary she kept. The woman shared her experiences on Alternet.

Identifying herself as a “survival prostitute”, it’s described by Alternet as the group of female sex workers most easily and frequently killed of all women. They don’t have the exciting or glamorous lifestyle of call girls or the “victimhood” of sex trafficked women because their real pimp is the drug habit they can’t seem to shake.

Here we detail some of the most shocking and sad experiences the woman opens up about clients during her life as a nameless sex worker.

In her diary, she writes, “How does a nice girl turn out? A broken family and drug habit help but essentially the customers turn you out. You’re walking around the city with no job and no money and monkey on your back and the cars start stopping and pulling to the curb like an X-rated runway. They know your profession before you do.”

Her first exchange was on a Saturday night where a guy followed her into the vestibule of her apartment and began licking her high leather boots. A minute later, he handed her money and left with her barely seeing his face.

A foreigner who barely spoke English was one of the first cars that stopped for her and wanted to bargain. It became one of the few times she got out.

Another guy, 300-pound s in weight, at an appliance store was one of her first meets who would always say, “When you and me gon’ hook up?” He would set her up with other customers and also drugs.

At the nadir of her experiences as a survival prostitute, she details her experiences with groups of men, something she swore off after being raped.

“I also won’t do men in groups because they turn into rapes. You can control a one-on-one situation but you can’t stag parties and drunks. Once at a motel on the edge of town with no phone or switchboard because the office closed down, a whole group of men who knew I was in there broke in and mauled me. I had two choices: do it or do it and get beat up. It was terrifying and humiliating. When you’re outside the law, you can’t go to the police and say ‘I wasn’t paid.’ Your lifestyle is your consent.”

Then there was the hedge fund guy who would drop her cash on the floor make trades while she turned tricks. They invite her to parties and dinners on yachts, suggest she become an escort and socialize with their friends. She robbed one guy while he was passed out in a motel and left the door open, so he would think the staff did it.

While walking to the store, she is stopped by a guy who asks for her going rate through his car window. The guy looks really sick, but she goes with him to the motel, and after they have sex, he wants to cuddle, which is irritating and agonizing for her.

Another client is Al, a construction worker in his 20s whose mission is to be her last date for the night, so they can sleep together. But the reason why women in this industry are quick to leave a guy once they’re done, is because they can’t stand the sight of them afterwards.

One guy she did spend an entire night with was Kurt, a German artist in his 70s who spoke no English. Even though they couldn’t speak to each other, he kept waking her up for more and she felt do dirty in the morning she had to get a fifth of whiskey, hydrogen peroxide to gargle with and a laxative.

A guy she calls her best trick ever, was in California, and after performing oral sex on her, he gave her a Honda Civic, albeit a stolen one, so she could get home. It lasted her two weeks, but it did get her home.

She has to be strict about not having boyfriends and freebies, or she won’t make any money. When a john asks what she likes, she has to be careful with requests, because some can accuse her of getting paid for doing something she does anyway.

Even though guys have bought her Christmas presents and have wanted to have real sex with her, she doesn’t let that get in the way of her professionalism.

Her biggest problem is meth, which keeps her wired for each day but causes her mouth to be dry all the time. Sometimes she’s afraid to leave her apartment because people stare at her.

The says woman has now found recovery in a 12-step program.

Brittney Fennell

Brittney Fennell

Brittney is the Associate Editor of Jawbreaker and a writer who has goals to disrupt culture in ways unseen.