Everything is done over text. People make plans for dinner, express condolences, even break-ups—assholes! Naturally old fashioned phone sex would make its new age transition to “sexting.”

Thanks to Anthony Weiner and Tiger Woods, sexting went into a national stage overdrive and with new apps like What’s App, Tinder and even trusty ole Instagram Direct Messages, it’s never been more easy to send a Shakespearean sonnet of just how super soaked your vulva is.

But many women are stuck sending themselves into an over-thinking frenzy with questions like: “What do I say?” “How far should I go?” “Will he think I’m a freak?” And the answers to all of those questions are there is no answer. Sexting was invented to complete the badass trio of thrill and no fux given.

Do your finger curls and let’s go!

1. Sext for you not him!

I don’t care if you brought this man home for Thanksgiving dinner and personally beheaded a turkey to round out his holiday plate. The first rule for sexting is to do it for you, not him. Your attempts to think up what he craves are a killjoy and well, only makes things more awkward. The key to having fun while sexting is to live out your own personal wild fantasies and completely lose yourself while you’re at it. Trust, he’ll receive pleasure by your willingness to let go.

2. You’re a wild woman with no head!

Guys are quick to ask for a shot of your ass or kitty. As a matter-of-fact, after receiving your number, it’s often the second or third thing men text. If you’re feeling him, go on and oblige. But do it completely absent of your face. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 10 years. In that case, homeboy should know what is looks like. With creepy iCloud leaks and the Sony hack, who can trust privacy in the age of social media? You don’t want to end up like Gabrielle Union and Meagan Good, now do you?

3. Sext is cheap!

Finding yourself excited to bring out your inner Jill Scott meets Zane? Not so fast! Don’t sext anything you wouldn’t do in real life. When it comes to sexting, guy’s brains and ability to visualize are like memory-foam mattresses. No doubt, the next time you see bae, he’ll think of what you sexted you would to do and will expect you to perform.

4. Sexting never ends.

What’s so great about transitioning from phone sex to sexting, there’s no real beginning and end. Sexting pops off whenever you and your man find yourselves in the mood. The spontaneity of sexting makes it even hotter. Know what time your boo gets out of those hectic morning meetings with that irritating co-worker he complains about every night in bed? Sext him something spicy like: “Sitting here at my desk thinking about last night. I need to air out my panties!” He’ll be thrown off guard and will have a silly smirk on his face for the rest of the day. He’ll also be thankful to have a woman like you.

5. Don’t sext it all away.

Don’t you love that good ole Auntie advice? Always leave something to the imagination. When it comes to your sext lines, keep your man in a consistent expectancy of seeing the main attraction. Have that man anticipating you like the playoffs! Send sexts like, “When I see you next time, I want you to test this new toy I have on me.” Or something like: “Ooh, baby! You’re making me soooo horny. Can’t wait to see you later tonight.” And when it comes to naughty pics, send those sparingly. Keep your gentleman on a non-stop tease for the real thing.

6. Know when to cut him off. 

Did he forget your birthday or the dinner plans you made last week? Here’s your pair of sharpened scissors. Cut him off. Good boys get rewards not the dogs who piss on your creme sheepskin rug! Men are good for having a sudden case of the forgets and texting you something nasty during the day. Nah, bruh. Reply to that sext with silence.

On the other hand, is he sexting you content that’s not your style? Threesomes, and even more outlandish rated XXX stuff you’re not into? Be vocal and empowered and let him know immediately: “Hey, I’m not into to that.” The guy for you will quickly apologize and will give you the room to ease off the gas at a speed limit more suitable for you not him.

Geneva S. Thomas

Geneva S. Thomas

Geneva is the founder of Jawbreaker, which she plans on turning into an intergalactic all-girl army that will someday storm the streets of the world in studded bras and Tom Ford boots. She recently took up archery and collects more books than shoes.